April 2010
16 posts
I had to promise never to return to the YMCA.
Falling asleep in the bathtub is awkward, but far worse is when you fall asleep in the hot tub at the YMCA. It isn’t all my fault, that thing was like a big bowl of nap soup.
Sorry if I whizzed in your closet.
secretjunk:
neilmobile:
I was at a house party a few years ago, and I didn’t know many of the people there. My solution to not knowing anyone was to drink a lot of cheap champagne and keep walking into one of the closets and shouting “IT SURE IS DARK IN THIS BATHROOM!”. Nobody laughed, even though I thought it was a really funny thing to do. That sums up much of my life.
I was at that party...
Sorry if I whizzed in your closet.
I was at a house party a few years ago, and I didn’t know many of the people there. My solution to not knowing anyone was to drink a lot of cheap champagne and keep walking into one of the closets and shouting “IT SURE IS DARK IN THIS BATHROOM!”. Nobody laughed, even though I thought it was a really funny thing to do. That sums up much of my life.
You bards of Australia
Dear AC/DC,
Thank you for not going with the original song title, Thunderstricken.
Tomorrow I use an extension cord as a belt.
Today I ate my cereal out of a tupperware container because there were no clean bowls. Also I used non-fat non-dairy coffee creamer instead of milk. Then I ate it over the sink while I thought about how I am almost a quarter of a century old.
Also you get bigger goggles.
Scuba lessons are just swimming lessons but with a backpack. Since I already know how to swim and I definitely know how to wear a backpack, looks like I’m a scuba diver. “The bends”? Sounds like an old wives’ tale to me.
Is it so wrong that I have?
Overheard today on Whyte avenue: “You ever get so mad, you get a boner?”
When I'm 64
Will I still hate the person laughing next to me at the movie theatre? Will I still be wearing the same pants every day? Most importantly, will I think of teeth as possessions rather than a body part?
Not the father
Do Americans turn to anyone else but Maury for paternity tests?
